I want to dress nice and go on adventures, take lots of pictures and sleep outside. I want to listen to old songs and run aimlessly like I just don’t give a fuck. I want to braid my hair and make flower crowns, I want to skinny dip-a lot. I don’t want to be late for buses or appointments or school. I want to learn but in the most practical ways that don’t involve buildings and deadlines.
Forgive. Forget. Fake it. Chin up. Wear lipstick, make lists, make sure your voicemail isn’t full. Mix protein shakes, send timely thank you notes, sip drinks more slowly, stare at adults’ eyebrows, smile without dimples, develop perfect posture. Be gracious, be kind, eliminate self-pity. Look in the mirror and shift your internal monologue from ‘How do I look?’ to ‘This is my face,’ from ‘What the hell am I doing?’ to ‘This is my life.’ Capitalize your emails, read the news, walk briskly, stay focused, and never, ever let on that you are somewhat lost and sometimes lonely and so completely confused (and would someone please just let me know what it is I’m supposed to do next, where exactly I’m supposed to go–). Just keep going. Go, and do not stop.